Being Boswell

It’s Just Not Right…

I grew up with my mom telling me to, “Watch your mouth!”  She hated when I said I hated something, when I sang at the dinner table, or told her I couldn’t see my mouth so I couldn’t possibly watch it. She even washed my mouth out with soap once. I don’t remember what I said, but the next day I got tonsillitis and my grandmother blamed my mother for giving it to me. I was vindicated.

 

I did, for the most part, try to please my mom. I watched what I said and did. I became so good at it that I developed TMJ before it was called TMJ. My parents thought it was normal that I had to hit the side of my face to get my jaw to open in the morning to eat my Special K cereal.

 

I don’t imagine this was so unusual for those of us raised in the late 50’s-60’s. We were managed to be polite extensions of our parents. It was our job to make them look better than they felt about themselves. Especially us girls.

 

It’s a hard habit to break, this watching your mouth. “What if I offend somebody?” I would worry. My mom told me the reason a boy I liked didn’t call me again is because I told him a story using the word “poop.” She said, “No boy would want to date a girl with a mouth like that.” Fuck.

 

It seems the older I get the less I watch my mouth and the more I speak my mind. I am a lot less tolerant of what I see and experience. I am “mouthier” these days because some things need to be said. I started a list… Continue Reading

Patricia Boswell

I AM NICE!

Many years ago-sounds a bit like the beginning of a fairy tale-the foundation of who I was, or thought I was, crumbled. I grabbled with the question, “Who am I?” I felt the enormity of the question, as well as, my terror of not knowing the answer or, worse yet, how to find the answer. My illusions had died and I didn’t have a replacement reality. I felt like a blank slate.

 

Because I am a visual person (that much I did know about myself) I envisioned my blank slate status as a big, yellow legal pad. With that image in mind, I drove to Staples, found a tablet and bought it. My plan was to notice myself and document who I met. I remember feeling a bit overwhelmed by the project and a lot scared at the blankness of the tablet before me. I also remember some excitement at the prospect of defining myself rather than being defined by others.

 

So, I took my pad with me where ever I went.

Continue Reading

Patricia Boswell

Did You Know?

…That an adult elephant does not know it can easily pull the stake it is chained to out of the ground because as a baby elephant it tried and couldn’t?

 

…That fish put in a bathtub, while their small bowl is being cleaned, will swim in the same size area as their bowl?

 

…That a baseball player for the Oakland A’s, well known for not being able to make it to second base, overran, then scrambled back to first base on his knees not realizing he had hit a home run?

 

My point you ask? Continue Reading

Patricia Boswell

Everything I Need To Know I Learned in Drivers Ed

Well, maybe not everything. I learned some things on the play ground, some in the locker room and some under the bleachers. But, those are stories for another time.

 

Mr Anderson was my high school drivers education teacher. I remember having a crush on him. It was his calmness and concern for our safety that touched me. He felt like a protective dad. Since my father wasn’t, I took all Mr. Anderson had to offer.

 

He taught me, and my car mates, about becoming velocitized. (My computer tells me velocitized is not a word, as does my dictionary, but they are wrong. Just ask Mr. Anderson.) He explained to us, his newest batch of 16 year old drivers, that when you drive 50 mph for a period of time, your body adjusts to that rate of speed making you feel you are going slower than 50mph. So you increase your speed to 55. That feels fast for a while. Then it doesn’t. Now you speed up to 60…for a while…And on it goes until you hear yourself saying, “No officer, how fast was I going?”    

Continue Reading

Patricia Boswell

My New Friends

And I have so many these days. It is really quite lovely. I feel wanted and important. I am popular!

 

Each evening my mail box is full of treasures offered by my new friends at Talbots, Black and White, Arhaus, Macy’s, Crate and Barrel… The list goes on. Actually, I think some of my new friends have told some of their friends about me because I get mail from friends I didn’t even know I had. Regardless, each of them begin with: your “friends” at LL Bean (or Sundance, Garnet Hill, Frontgate) want you to have this special offer because we value you so much. Really! I am that special. They mean it too. I know because they are so generous! My friends offer me special gifts, free shipping, 20% off and no payment until 2013. I am deeply touched by their thoughtfulness as I relax on the couch with their lovely, glossy catalogues. I know they have invested their hard earned money, their time and their energy to send these to me-their new friend.

At the bottom of the stack of mail, or sandwiched in between two of my new friends correspondence, is often a lonely white envelope. It is not friendly at all. It doesn’t even say, “Hi.” It has no pictures of gorgeous men and women. It has no pictures at all, no special offers or gifts. It simply says,”Pay this amount, by this date, or we will charge you more next month.” They don’t even say please. How rude.

 

I have decided I don’t like them. They are not my friends.

 

Oh yeah-my new friends have mentioned they want more friends. I can send them your name if you would like.

 

Then we can all be friends together!

Patricia Boswell

Smarty Pants

My sister-friend Heidi and I were checking in with each other this morning. “How is your New Year so far?” we took turns asking, two days into 2012.

 

“I’m failing miserably,” I confessed. “I wrote my 10 self centered resolutions in It’s All About Me last week. Since then, unfortunately, I have been more efficient than ever. I am caring about everything to the point of mild paranoia and I am talking to fill all silences. It’s like when I say I am going on a diet and then I eat more than I usually do.” Continue Reading

Patricia Boswell

Fat Free Relationships

I don’t like fat free food. I don’t like low fat food either. I don’t eat it anymore. I used to, believing it was good for me, but I was always hungry. Hunger and I do not get along. I avoid it at all costs. I always know where my next meal is coming from. I decided being hungry and miserable was a greater health risk than eating fat. I threw out the I can’t believe it’s not butter-I could- and returned to It is butter, really.

 

I can tell, on first sip, when my latte is mistakenly made with low fat milk. I use half and half in my coffee at home. There is nothing “light” in my frig.  I would rather not eat ice cream than eat it with all the natural fat sucked out.

 

To justify my rich taste, I read the Fat Fallacy by Will Cower. I remembered my two week trip to France. The French eat whole everything!  They are not overweight and do not have as high an incidence of heart disease as we do. I ate more bread with butter, cheese, cream, ham, pastry and wine while there than I do in two months in Pittsburgh. Surprisingly, I lost weight. I could argue I walked a lot. That being true and significant, the Fat Fallacy suggests we need fat to maintain a good weight. I choose to be a discipline of this belief-we all pick what beliefs we live by.

 

I have the same preference when it comes to my relationships. Continue Reading

Patricia Boswell

It’s the F*@#ing Flame… my last honeymoon story…promise

(On August 26th, in the Mexican town of Teotihuacan, the flame for the 2011 Pan American Games was lit and the runner began its route through Mexico.)

 

We decided to spend a day in Puerta Vallarta before we flew back home. We met a couple on the plane to Mexico that made us promise to, at the very least, take a day trip into PV because it is so beautiful. Old PV, not Nueva PV where all the oversized resorts live. They were adamant. It sounded like a good idea. They gave us the name of the time share/hotel they stay in, some places to shop and a great restaurant for dinner. We were convinced and folded it into our plans.

 

Since there was no shopping in PLT I was looking forward to do some shopping. I was also ready to leave our eco resort survivalist meets paradise location. I was also ready to speak English. My brain was tired from trying to speak Spanish, trying to understand Spanish and acting like I understood Spanish when I had no idea what was being said. I  was ready for a bit of civilization. Continue Reading

Patricia Boswell

About Me

Welcome to being Boswell…I am Patricia Boswell.

I am currently living the third incarnation of my life. In this episode, I am as old as I’ve ever been…so sometimes I knowmore than I ever did. Other times, not so much.
I have always questioned life, but now I tend to ask out loud, sometimes even to others. I make meaning of life events and relationships. I was born wondering what made myself and others act differently to the same event. I began with my family-which kept me busy for most of my childhood. (Who am I kidding; they still keep me guessing.)

 

I see life lessons every where. (A cigar is rarely a cigar.) I look for deeper meaning to my life experiences. I think this is fun, most of the time.

I wouldn’t be young again for anything. Well, maybe for two things, remembering where I left my glasses and why I went into that room.

 

My 2 kids are grown. They turned out to be really amazing people (thank god after putting all that work into them!) “Job well done and phew,” I say!

I am divorced. I was married to my kids father for 23 years. (Job not so well done.)

I am remarried to a man that is my match.

I am also a psychotherapist of 30 years who specializes in women’s issues. I have listened to many women over the years. Through my listening I have learned, in detail and extremes, what we love, what we don’t and why.

We love to be right. We love each other, most of the time, until we disagree or feel misunderstood. We have a hard time with that. We want the best for our children and loves ones. We want to be believed, respected and equal. We get really pissed when we are not-whether we say it out loud or not. We believe we know what someone else is thinking or feeling and act accordingly. We confuse opinion with fact; especially when it is a negative perception about us.
We women are an agreeable contradiction. I love that about us.
Being Boswell is a way of life.

 

Welcome and Enjoy! And please let me know what you think.

 

Patricia
Patricia Boswell

It’s Just Not Right…

I grew up with my mom telling me to, “Watch your mouth!”  She hated when I said I hated something, when I sang at the dinner table, or told her I couldn’t see my mouth so I couldn’t possibly watch it. She even washed my mouth out with soap once. I don’t remember what I said, but the next day I got tonsillitis and my grandmother blamed my mother for giving it to me. I was vindicated.

 

I did, for the most part, try to please my mom. I watched what I said and did. I became so good at it that I developed TMJ before it was called TMJ. My parents thought it was normal that I had to hit the side of my face to get my jaw to open in the morning to eat my Special K cereal.

 

I don’t imagine this was so unusual for those of us raised in the late 50’s-60’s. We were managed to be polite extensions of our parents. It was our job to make them look better than they felt about themselves. Especially us girls.

 

It’s a hard habit to break, this watching your mouth. “What if I offend somebody?” I would worry. My mom told me the reason a boy I liked didn’t call me again is because I told him a story using the word “poop.” She said, “No boy would want to date a girl with a mouth like that.” Fuck.

 

It seems the older I get the less I watch my mouth and the more I speak my mind. I am a lot less tolerant of what I see and experience. I am “mouthier” these days because some things need to be said. I started a list… Continue Reading

Patricia Boswell

I AM NICE!

Many years ago-sounds a bit like the beginning of a fairy tale-the foundation of who I was, or thought I was, crumbled. I grabbled with the question, “Who am I?” I felt the enormity of the question, as well as, my terror of not knowing the answer or, worse yet, how to find the answer. My illusions had died and I didn’t have a replacement reality. I felt like a blank slate.

 

Because I am a visual person (that much I did know about myself) I envisioned my blank slate status as a big, yellow legal pad. With that image in mind, I drove to Staples, found a tablet and bought it. My plan was to notice myself and document who I met. I remember feeling a bit overwhelmed by the project and a lot scared at the blankness of the tablet before me. I also remember some excitement at the prospect of defining myself rather than being defined by others.

 

So, I took my pad with me where ever I went.

Continue Reading

Patricia Boswell

Did You Know?

…That an adult elephant does not know it can easily pull the stake it is chained to out of the ground because as a baby elephant it tried and couldn’t?

 

…That fish put in a bathtub, while their small bowl is being cleaned, will swim in the same size area as their bowl?

 

…That a baseball player for the Oakland A’s, well known for not being able to make it to second base, overran, then scrambled back to first base on his knees not realizing he had hit a home run?

 

My point you ask? Continue Reading

Patricia Boswell

Everything I Need To Know I Learned in Drivers Ed

Well, maybe not everything. I learned some things on the play ground, some in the locker room and some under the bleachers. But, those are stories for another time.

 

Mr Anderson was my high school drivers education teacher. I remember having a crush on him. It was his calmness and concern for our safety that touched me. He felt like a protective dad. Since my father wasn’t, I took all Mr. Anderson had to offer.

 

He taught me, and my car mates, about becoming velocitized. (My computer tells me velocitized is not a word, as does my dictionary, but they are wrong. Just ask Mr. Anderson.) He explained to us, his newest batch of 16 year old drivers, that when you drive 50 mph for a period of time, your body adjusts to that rate of speed making you feel you are going slower than 50mph. So you increase your speed to 55. That feels fast for a while. Then it doesn’t. Now you speed up to 60…for a while…And on it goes until you hear yourself saying, “No officer, how fast was I going?”    

Continue Reading

Patricia Boswell

My New Friends

And I have so many these days. It is really quite lovely. I feel wanted and important. I am popular!

 

Each evening my mail box is full of treasures offered by my new friends at Talbots, Black and White, Arhaus, Macy’s, Crate and Barrel… The list goes on. Actually, I think some of my new friends have told some of their friends about me because I get mail from friends I didn’t even know I had. Regardless, each of them begin with: your “friends” at LL Bean (or Sundance, Garnet Hill, Frontgate) want you to have this special offer because we value you so much. Really! I am that special. They mean it too. I know because they are so generous! My friends offer me special gifts, free shipping, 20% off and no payment until 2013. I am deeply touched by their thoughtfulness as I relax on the couch with their lovely, glossy catalogues. I know they have invested their hard earned money, their time and their energy to send these to me-their new friend.

At the bottom of the stack of mail, or sandwiched in between two of my new friends correspondence, is often a lonely white envelope. It is not friendly at all. It doesn’t even say, “Hi.” It has no pictures of gorgeous men and women. It has no pictures at all, no special offers or gifts. It simply says,”Pay this amount, by this date, or we will charge you more next month.” They don’t even say please. How rude.

 

I have decided I don’t like them. They are not my friends.

 

Oh yeah-my new friends have mentioned they want more friends. I can send them your name if you would like.

 

Then we can all be friends together!

Patricia Boswell

Smarty Pants

My sister-friend Heidi and I were checking in with each other this morning. “How is your New Year so far?” we took turns asking, two days into 2012.

 

“I’m failing miserably,” I confessed. “I wrote my 10 self centered resolutions in It’s All About Me last week. Since then, unfortunately, I have been more efficient than ever. I am caring about everything to the point of mild paranoia and I am talking to fill all silences. It’s like when I say I am going on a diet and then I eat more than I usually do.” Continue Reading

Patricia Boswell

Fat Free Relationships

I don’t like fat free food. I don’t like low fat food either. I don’t eat it anymore. I used to, believing it was good for me, but I was always hungry. Hunger and I do not get along. I avoid it at all costs. I always know where my next meal is coming from. I decided being hungry and miserable was a greater health risk than eating fat. I threw out the I can’t believe it’s not butter-I could- and returned to It is butter, really.

 

I can tell, on first sip, when my latte is mistakenly made with low fat milk. I use half and half in my coffee at home. There is nothing “light” in my frig.  I would rather not eat ice cream than eat it with all the natural fat sucked out.

 

To justify my rich taste, I read the Fat Fallacy by Will Cower. I remembered my two week trip to France. The French eat whole everything!  They are not overweight and do not have as high an incidence of heart disease as we do. I ate more bread with butter, cheese, cream, ham, pastry and wine while there than I do in two months in Pittsburgh. Surprisingly, I lost weight. I could argue I walked a lot. That being true and significant, the Fat Fallacy suggests we need fat to maintain a good weight. I choose to be a discipline of this belief-we all pick what beliefs we live by.

 

I have the same preference when it comes to my relationships. Continue Reading

Patricia Boswell

It’s the F*@#ing Flame… my last honeymoon story…promise

(On August 26th, in the Mexican town of Teotihuacan, the flame for the 2011 Pan American Games was lit and the runner began its route through Mexico.)

 

We decided to spend a day in Puerta Vallarta before we flew back home. We met a couple on the plane to Mexico that made us promise to, at the very least, take a day trip into PV because it is so beautiful. Old PV, not Nueva PV where all the oversized resorts live. They were adamant. It sounded like a good idea. They gave us the name of the time share/hotel they stay in, some places to shop and a great restaurant for dinner. We were convinced and folded it into our plans.

 

Since there was no shopping in PLT I was looking forward to do some shopping. I was also ready to leave our eco resort survivalist meets paradise location. I was also ready to speak English. My brain was tired from trying to speak Spanish, trying to understand Spanish and acting like I understood Spanish when I had no idea what was being said. I  was ready for a bit of civilization. Continue Reading

Patricia Boswell

About Me

Welcome to being Boswell…I am Patricia Boswell.

I am currently living the third incarnation of my life. In this episode, I am as old as I’ve ever been…so sometimes I knowmore than I ever did. Other times, not so much.
I have always questioned life, but now I tend to ask out loud, sometimes even to others. I make meaning of life events and relationships. I was born wondering what made myself and others act differently to the same event. I began with my family-which kept me busy for most of my childhood. (Who am I kidding; they still keep me guessing.)

 

I see life lessons every where. (A cigar is rarely a cigar.) I look for deeper meaning to my life experiences. I think this is fun, most of the time.

I wouldn’t be young again for anything. Well, maybe for two things, remembering where I left my glasses and why I went into that room.

 

My 2 kids are grown. They turned out to be really amazing people (thank god after putting all that work into them!) “Job well done and phew,” I say!

I am divorced. I was married to my kids father for 23 years. (Job not so well done.)

I am remarried to a man that is my match.

I am also a psychotherapist of 30 years who specializes in women’s issues. I have listened to many women over the years. Through my listening I have learned, in detail and extremes, what we love, what we don’t and why.

We love to be right. We love each other, most of the time, until we disagree or feel misunderstood. We have a hard time with that. We want the best for our children and loves ones. We want to be believed, respected and equal. We get really pissed when we are not-whether we say it out loud or not. We believe we know what someone else is thinking or feeling and act accordingly. We confuse opinion with fact; especially when it is a negative perception about us.
We women are an agreeable contradiction. I love that about us.
Being Boswell is a way of life.

 

Welcome and Enjoy! And please let me know what you think.

 

Patricia
Patricia Boswell