I try not to, but still do. In Mexico, this fall (no pun intended), I missed a step down walking into a courtyard. I did my best to catch myself, hopping on one foot, while forward momentum propelled me into the legs of an unsuspecting Mexican man. He did his best to catch me while saving himself from being knocked over. I did my best to right myself to save what little pride I still had. “Perdon,” I gasped leaning against his legs.
This past December, for my 54th birthday, I was given The Book of Awakening by Mark Nepo by 2 different friends. (I pay attention when the same gift comes from multiple people. I assume I must need it.) It is a daily meditation book. I highly recommend it.
Yesterday, adhering to my new spiritual practice/new years resolution, I read the entry for the day. It was about letting go so we don’t fall down. The line I was drawn to was, “…in a moment of ego we refuse to put down what we carry in order to open the door.” The author was referring to a friend of his who refused to put down two opened gallons of paint, drop cloths, mixing sticks, and paint brush to open a door. As a result he lost his balance and fell. You can imagine the mess. It was red paint. Continue reading →
My sister-friend Heidi and I were checking in with each other this morning. “How is your New Year so far?” we took turns asking, two days into 2012.
“I’m failing miserably,” I confessed. “I wrote my 10 self centered resolutions in It’s All About Me last week. Since then, unfortunately, I have been more efficient than ever. I am caring about everything to the point of mild paranoia and I am talking to fill all silences. It’s like when I say I am going on a diet and then I eat more than I usually do.” Continue reading →
Recently I lead a workshop I designed 15 years ago, A Woman’s Way of Knowing-the making of your intuitive doll. This is, and has been each time I have offered it, a magical day. In the course of the day we examine the inner voices that hold us back from our true nature and our intuition. These voices may sound caring and concerned for our well being . “Don’t trust others or you will get hurt.” “Be careful.” “Be good.” “Don’t get too excited…angry….sad.” Or they may be critical voices. We may call ourselves stupid, lazy, or worthless. If we put these voices on audio they may sound like, “Who do you think you are?” or “You can never do that!” “What is wrong with you?” Any of these sound familiar? Sadly, to often they do.
In the process of the workshop we challenge these messages in a variety of ways. With new awareness and inner messages each women creates her intuitive doll.
The magic of the day for me is witnessing women reach into themselves and find/trust their creativity. There are moments, watching participants help each other, listening to the rhythmic conversation that occurs during introspective creation, or observing a women’s face as she struggles or succeeds with what is before her, that I am moved to tears. I think, at a cellular level, women yearn for and need this sense of community with other women. (Unless one of those inner voices informs you not to trust women.)
I want to thank each of you that came to spend the day with me and with each other, challenging beliefs and exposing hidden wounds. It takes courage to walk into the unknown.