I am taking this week off and staying home. A staycation. My spell check hates when I type the word, it wants to correct it. Seems my spell check isn’t the only entity wanting to challenge this breach in normalcy.
While planning this break I ran head long into a nasty belief of mine. It was a surprise attack and left me terrified. My reptilian mind, the part of my brain that wants me to survive no matter what, informed me of the facts according to it…if I am not working very, very, hard and always knocking on the next door of opportunity, learning or awareness, terrible things will happen. My life will fall apart. I will be broke, homeless and hungry.
I sometimes hear a milder version of this when I plan a vacation, but 2 weeks a year, maximum, are ever so generously tolerated by my mind lizard. However, this year I am coloring outside of the lines. I am planning to take this week off (for just me), a week to visit Tom’s family in the south, a week for our wedding and two weeks for our honeymoon. I am clearly living dangerously. My staycation is a leap of faith and a challenge to my belief system and spell check.
I am up for it.
I moved into Tom town house in November of 2009. I have made a lot of changes to it. His friends come by and tease him that it is not the bachelor pad (code for ugly) that it used to be. Tom enjoys this ribbing, it means we are a couple, and he likes that. But for all my personal touches, I was uncertain of it being my home. Something was missing, I think, I wasn’t even sure.
Today I took my first nap on the new couch I bought last year. This purchase was the topic of my first blog post. We got the couch in June and I have never fallen asleep on it. Tom has. I don’t know why I haven’t, I love naps and I love couch naps. I take them in my office regularly.
I think falling asleep on a couch is the hallmark of familiarity. It says I belong here; this is my space; I feel safe enough to sleep in a room without a door. Well today I curled up and into the couch. I covered myself with soft warm blankets and slept for two hours. As I awoke from my second nap of the day, warm and rested, knew I was home.