DAY 2 Tuesday
No alarm clock. A nice way to start the day.
I made coffee and heated a half of blueberry muffin I had bought in advance for just this occasion. I usually don’t let myself eat much bread. I savored it. I covered it in butter and waited while it melted into the cake. I will eat the other half tomorrow.
I was drawn to do some work that involved using my lap top. After finishing up I began doing research on blogging. I lost time, as well as, my sense of well being in my search. My reptilian brain was back. This time reminding me I will never sufficiently understand this blogging stuff, I am too old, I don’t have the time, drive, focus, whatever it takes to be successful. By the end of the lecture I felt defeated, hopeless and disappointed in myself. I was also very cold. Sometimes this happens when I am working on the computer, I get cold. Maybe the computer is sucking my warmth like a solar panel and feeding my lizard mind.
So I got in a hot tub. In the middle of the day. Go Figure! As my body temp rose so did my hopes and belief in myself. Being kind to myself seemed to contradict to all I believed earlier. What a valuable discovery. Instead of joining my negativity I was kind to myself and melted the monster.
I got out of the tub and took an hour nap (on the couch), then headed off, refreshed, rested and believing in myself, to the coffee shop to do some blogging. You are reading the fruits of my day.