Living in Oblivion

On the plane home from Tybee, I noticed a young woman sitting several seats in front of me and on the other side of the plane. I noticed her because she was flinging her long dirty blonde hair (it may have been dirty blond or it may just have been dirty, I couldn’t quite tell) over the back of her seat into the seat behind her.


“Surely this was a mistake. She doesn’t really mean to have her hair hanging in someone else’s very limited seat space, does she?” I wondered to myself. Now some women never touch their hair, some women play with their hair every once in a while (I am one of those) and some women touch their hair A LOT. This woman was the latter. So after the third or fourth time she adjusted and readjusted her hair, she always ended throwing it over the back of her seat.


She was oblivious to the guy sitting behind her and her infringement on his personal space. I decided I didn’t like her.


Driving to work the other day I sensed the woman driving in the car beside me wanted to move into my lane. I usually know this because drivers will unconsciously start to ease toward the line when they decide they want to switch lanes. When I feel this float to the center, I don’t wait for blinker, I adjust myself to make room ahead or behind me, which ever makes safe sense. In this case I slowed down to make room for her. As I predicted her blinker came on and into my lane she moved. I waited for the thank you wave in the mirror. None came (Not only am I a defensive driver, like Mr Anderson taught me, I am a polite driver. I wave my thank you’s. Sometimes I wave another part of my hand, but that is another story.)


Further down the road this happened again with the same driver. This time I had to slow down quickly because she was switching lanes regardless of where I was.


She was oblivious and a rude, bad driver. I didn’t like her either.


I began to think about these two events and get interested in my attention to them. “Out of all the possible things to notice on a plane, and while driving, why did I notice these?What is it about me that I observe and have a strong negative reaction to oblivion?” I wondered.


It didn’t take long for me to get my answer.


I never let myself be oblivious!


I learned at an early age to be hyper vigilance of other peoples needs. I can walk into a room and tell you who is thirsty. I am always considering my effect on the personal space, needs, wants, desires of the other person. For gods sake, I know when a driver wants to pull into my lane before they do. Sometimes I am exhausted making sure I don’t step on anyones toes.


Okay, I got it. Again. This is certainly not the first time life presented me the opportunity to learn this lesson. These two women were my mirrors, reflecting back to me my lopsided sense of responsibility for others. My lesson is to learn to be more oblivious. To not notice as much. To not care as often.


Anyone with me on this? Want to pay less attention? Care less, relax more?


I just noticed as I was writing this last paragraph I mindlessly made a hand held ponytail in my hair and flipped it over the back of my chair. Granted my hair is not that long and there is no one sitting in a seat behind me, but I’ve gotta start someplace…

Patricia Boswell

4 comments on “Living in Oblivion

  1. I definitely started doing this! Well at least not caring. It is against my nature and natural personality to notice EVERYTHING. Im always told how observant I am. The difference now though: I stopped caring. It has been wonderful 🙂

  2. Oh, how I loved your ‘Living in Oblivion’!! I too have a real aversion to the ‘Oblivions’ of this world. Of late, my focus has been on those drivers who pull out right in front of you as if they are on the road all by themselves. They will pull out if front of me even when there is not a soul behind me!!! I have been working on ‘not getting worked up’ by this but it is a real task. Thank you for your testimony (and for Jena’s comments) and for reminding me to care a little less about others’ need and care a bit more about mine.

    • Jena and Valerie, Thank you for your comments. It’s a fine line… caring less with integrity, but I think we’ve got it.. we rock!!

  3. Yes patricia….i’m with u…need to relax more and worry about everything and everyone less. Although i need to keep some balance so i don’t become one of those rude people! !!!!! 🙂 thanks for ur blog, luv it!!!!

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